To the Doubter

I know you.

Or at least, I know about you. In fact, I used to be you.

I heard about God. Even went to church as a kid. Grew up with Christmas and Easter, listened to the family pray over those celebrations. Went to Vacation Bible School, learned about David and Goliath, Daniel and the Lion's Den, Noah and the Ark. Heard about Jesus. Learned the Twelve Apostles. Recited the Lord's Prayer. Even learned how to be saved when I was 13, back in 1986.

It didn't stick.

I remember what it was like.

In High School it really didn't matter. Had a friend who was close to Jesus who did his best to lead me right. I didn't listen. Oh, I thought about it, but there were too many other things to worry about. School. Sports. Girls. My sister went to war. Would God really allow that? You know, if He was there?

I ended up at a Catholic Jesuit university, of all places. Most everyone around me had grown up Catholic and gone to private Catholic schools. They believed what they believed.

Not me. Not my roommate. We decided we were on our own. Seemed to us we were gonna live, then die, and the worms would take care of the rest. We did our best to convince everyone else they were wrong. I don't know that we changed anybody's mind, but they certainly didn't change ours, either.

Looking back, those were dark times. Seemed like fun then, but man, was I wandering around like a blind man! Pretty lucky to come out on the other side, really. If something had happened to me at that point . . .

Then it changed.

Yea, this the awkward, strange part. The part where I go all Jesus-freaky weird. The part where the television evangelist stretches his arms heavenward and exclaims, "I have seen the light! I have found Jees-ssus! I have been born again . . . washed in the blood . . . saved by the Lord. Amen!"

 Yea. That part.

It's true. Wouldn't have figured me to be one of them . . .  but then again I never figured I'd be married with three kids either. The dog, that made sense. Wife . . . maybe. Kids? Not likely. But now I wouldn't give them up for anything. I'd die for them. That's how much I've changed, know what I mean?

I found something else that meant that much to me. Besides my wife, besides my kids, I found God. Or He found me, or however it happened, we got together. It's a pretty boring story, really . . . no blinding light or near-death experience; no voice from heaven or crash to rock bottom. Just a guy who said I couldn't date his daughter unless I went to church.

So I did.

Now?

Now I'm an elder in the church. I'm teaching Sunday School (to adults; I'm not that sold on kids), writing blogs about God and what He does in my life. I'm still trying to convince people they're wrong, but now I'm on the other side of the fence.

I'm pretty different, I guess. But I'm still me.

I still do stupid things. Make mistakes. Swear I'll never do it again. Then do it again.

So what?

You tell me. I had what you have. The world at my fingertips. Nothing drastic happened to make me change my mind. I just found something better. That's not so strange, is it? I found something that made me happy, gave me reason and purpose, put a little stability in my life. I learned something new, and realized it was true. Applied it to my life. That's just common sense, man.

I don't know why it happened when it happened; it just did. I guess God was ready to take me on. I do know this: If I'd missed this bus, I would've been in a whole different place. Probably in more ways than one.

So what it comes down to is this. I've been there, done that. I've been here, done this. And I've never gone back.

To me, that pretty much says it all.