God--Are You Out There?

I called out to God, to see if He would answer. I called out in my pain, my fear, my frustration. I sought Him because I had no where else to go. With all my strength, with all my heart, with everything I had, I reached for His heavenly throne.

Silence answered.

I called again, pulling from reserves of will and despair buried deep within my soul.

"Where are you God? Look at me! I am broken! I am crushed! I am . . . dying.  Where are you?"

I held my breath, senses attuned for a sign, a shout, the slightest whisper. Time moved no more as I and all Creation waited. My heart ached. My soul longed. My faith stretched.

And still, I heard not a sound. I felt not the hand of God upon my heaving shoulders. His healing touch refused to brush the tears away. His voice remained silent. His angels absent.

Falling to my knees, strength failed. Emptiness welled up, poured out of my soul. Clenched fists pounded the parched earth. My head rose to scream, but nothing was left. Only a whimper emerged, the slightest of sounds, the last of my breath.

Where are you?
And then He came. Not with a mighty shout and upraised sword. Not with a legion of angels, nor fiery throne. God came to me not from the distant realms of heavenly glory. No, He came, because He was already there.

His presence was the sun on my face, bringing warmth to my soul. His touch was the easterly wind, drying my tears. His voice was the whisper of faith, coming from within.

"I Am."

And then I knew. My shouts had not gone unheard. My screams of anguish were not ignored. My pain, my sorrow, my guilt and shame--He knew. He was never distant, never absent. His hand was there, giving me breath so that I could scream. His strength gave me life, that I could cry. His tears mingled with mine, that I may heal.

I called out to God, and He answered. His faithfulness never fails. His love never ceases. His mercies are without measure.

Amen and Amen!