Has Anyone Found My . . .

Has anyone found something I lost? I am not sure what it is, but I know it is missing. I cannot tell you exactly what it looks like, or when or where I had it last, but I can tell you it is no longer in my possession.

This is not a riddle, exactly. More of a conundrum. Something is gone, but I don't know what, nor when I lost it. Whatever it is, it was important, and I would dearly love to have it back. When I discovered it was missing, which was a couple of months ago--maybe longer--I began to understand why I was feeling the way I was. Something is missing from my life. I need it back.

The something I have lost may be ambition, or drive, or desire. It may be joy, or hope, or anticipation. Shoot, it may even be youth, vim, or vigor, but I don't think so. I'm not that old yet!

But it looks like one of those, or maybe all of those wrapped up into one something. I don't know. But I am lacking this thing, and there is a hole where it is supposed to be. That emptiness is sucking the life from my life, and that is wholly disheartening--pun intended.

I have nothing to complain about. My marriage is good, my kids are good, my job is a good job. I have good health, God is providing for us well, and I have all the support I could ask for. Good friends, good family, good church. God is good.

The problem is, I am having trouble seeing that. Or maybe appreciating it would be a better way to say it. God provides and I reply Ho-hum; thanks God. No excitement, no true thanksgiving. Not a sense of entitlement, I don't believe, but a lack of graciousness, perhaps. I sometimes wonder if God has been too good, and, like a spoiled child, I keep wanting more. Not a pleasant thought.

So whatever is missing, I need it returned. If you have suffered a similar loss, and been able to recover that something, could you tell me where you found it?

I'm missing mine.