Who Do You Trust?

Who would you trust to have your back as you charged into a burning building?

Your best friend? Mother, father, sister, brother? Your spouse? Who do you have in your life that you can count on when it really counts? Who do you trust?

This question matters. It matters because it reveals something about ourselves, and the people around us.

What is trust?

By definition, trust is the reliance on the strength, ability, integrity, surety, etc of a person or thing (Dictionary.com). Trust in a person means believing that person is reliable, accountable, responsible. They are there for you. And if you really trust them, they are there for you no matter what.

Trust comes about through a combination of experience, conversation, relationship, and plain-old gut feelings. I've met some people whom I trusted almost immediately, and others I wouldn't trust to take out the trash even after knowing them for years. A fickle thing, this idea of trust. As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Trust is perishable, even fragile. I've trusted, and been burnt. I've also not trusted, and suffered loss for it. Trust is subjective, personal.

Trust is hard.

The bigger the issue, the harder it is to trust. There are certain things in my life that I will only entrust to my closest circle of family and friends. The well being of my children, the keys to my home, my financial information, and so on. Even within that circle, there are only 3-4 with whom I share my daily fears, struggles, temptations. Those few have earned my trust, but it didn't come easily.

To trust we have to be vulnerable. We have to be willing to get hurt, or to suffer loss. That is not easy, nor natural. Our tendency, or at least mine, and the message of the world is that we are to be self-reliant and independent. The world says we don't need anybody, and even if we did, there isn't anybody we can trust. But I'm telling you, that just isn't true.

Trust is necessary.
 
We simply cannot walk through this life alone. Even Jesus, in whom we can confidently place our entire trust, had a close circle of friends around Him, and from among those He found three with whom He entrusted more than the rest. If you are not familiar with who they are, read Matthew 17:1-2, as well as Matthew 26:36-37. Those are the men Jesus wanted by His side when times were tough.

Jesus trusted God, His Father, entirely and completely. He leaned on God for all things. Even then, he desired the close companionship of men He could trust. And yes, I know--they failed Him, at least in the short term. But you know what? They came back. They did what He trusted them to do. His trust was not misplaced. He trusted them to carry on His work when He had left this world, and they did.

You have to trust.

Some burdens are simply too heavy to carry alone. Some situations are simply out of your hands. Sometimes you have to count on others, whether you want to or not. Yes, it can be frightening. Yes, they may fail. But without them, failure is inevitable. There are mountains which are simply too high to climb alone.

Who do you trust?

Do you have people in your life you would trust with anything and everything? Trust God first and foremost, of course, but remember that even Jesus had a close circle of friends He counted on. Find yours, then let them in. Trust them. You just may be amazed at how strong a strand of three cords can be. 

Distracted or Multi-tasking? You be the Judge.

My wife and I are very different.

Typically (or stereo-typically) men and women view the world and perform tasks very differently. Men tend to complete one task at a time from beginning to end, while women tend to do multiple tasks at once. My wife and I fit into those stereotypes perfectly. If I start something, the house could burn down around me and I might not notice. Not until I finish what I started. On the other hand, just tonight my wife was in the process of opening the door to let the dog in and thought of something else to do. She left the door partway open to go do something in the kitchen, then came back to the still partly-open door and let the somewhat bewildered dog in.

I call it distraction. She calls it multi-tasking. Who's right?

It's a busy world out there.

None of us are without plenty to do. How we go about doing (or at least trying to do) everything we have on our plates varies according to a plethora of factors. Not only do psychological factors come in to play, but physiological as well. Some studies have shown that women have more connections between the two halves of their brains than men do. They are actually hard-wired to multi-task more efficiently. For anyone who has had to be home with one or more small children for any amount of time while trying to accomplish anything, the purpose of this God-given gift is, excuse the pun, a no-brainer. We are fearfully and wonderfully made for the purposes God has for us.

If mothers were not thusly made, our children would starve to death or wander off while us men checked off our lists of things to do, oblivious to the needy little darlings at our feet. One thing at a time, nice and steady, no distractions. That's my way, and I know I am not alone. Kids are hungry? What kids? They're number 8 on my list, and I'm working on number 4. The overflowing garbage? Number 12. And the dog? He doesn't even make the front page.

Men and women are not the only ones with different world views.

Yes, I am poking a little fun at both my wife and myself. A serious side of this does exist, however. Men and women view and interact with the world differently, no doubt. But another, and more profound divide exists between two other groups of people. Those who live their lives for God, and those who do not.

Man or woman, the individual who lives for God has to keep one goal clearly in focus--the will of God. What He wants from us. What He desires us to do. What His priorities are. To those who live for the world, this makes no sense at all. The world is out there. They can see it, touch it, know it. God, if they acknowledge Him at all, is a mystery, an enigma. They are focused on what they know. God is, at best, a distraction.

Christians struggle too.

For the laser-focused, we tend to get hung up on what is right in front of us. We can easily miss the subtle leading of God trying to draw us closer to Him and His plan as we doggedly pursue the end we seek. For the multi-taskers, distraction is everywhere. The world calls and beckons, drowning out the voice of the One who matters.

Focused to a fault or task-saturated, we all have our struggles.

As with all things, balance is key. The Bible says we are in the world, but not of the world. In another place, we are identified as aliens in a foreign land. Still somewhere else, God tells us we can serve the world, or serve Him. In other words, this world is where we are, but it is not what we are supposed to be about. There is work here that we are called to do, but it is the work of God and His kingdom, not this world of distractions.

How do you do it?

Do you go down your check-list one item at a time, or do everything at once? How does that affect your relationship with God? If you don't know, think about it. You might find something useful there.  

Remain Unbroken

The spirit within us is an amazing thing.

Last night I watched the movie Unbroken. It is, as it is supposed to be, an amazing retelling of an amazing life. Louie Zamperini, the main character, experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows. When others gave up, he kept fighting. When others quit, he dug deeper. If his story does not draw at your heart and inspire you . . . well, it will. It speaks to the spirit within us all, that which pushes us to accomplish what seems impossible.

Even Louie drew upon a greater Spirit.

Though somewhat subtle, there is woven within the fabric of the movie an element of faith. Looking a little deeper into Mr Zamperini's life, that element of faith was more than subtle. Later in his life, when he was fighting to survive the fact that he had survived, faith saved him in more ways than one. Louie drew upon the Spirit of God to give him strength to fight his greatest battle of all. And won.

Life is going to be hard.

May God grant us grace and mercy that none should have to endure what Mr Zamperini did. Even so, life is going to be hard. We may not be adrift at sea for 47 days fending off sharks, or held prisoner of war tortured and beaten for 2 years, but we will have our struggles. And let's face it: All things are a matter of perspective. My trials may not hold a candle to his, but they are what I know. And life can be hard.

Your airplane crash may be losing a job. Your time adrift at sea may be trouble in your marriage. Your prison may be addiction, abuse, anger, guilt, or any number of personal hells. Whatever they are, we all face them, and they are hard. The question is, will they break us?

Remain unbroken.

I did not research how the title of the movie came about, but it is appropriate. Unbroken. Through it all, Louie Zamperini never broke. And neither shall we. Whatever comes our way, no matter the trial or tribulation, we can chose to remain unbroken. The Good Book tells us that God will never put us through more than we can bear. It may seem like it at times, but you have to have faith. You have to trust. You have to believe. He has given us strength. It is up to us to use it.

Draw on that greater Spirit.

In the midst of a storm, Louie prayed. In the storms of his life after returning home, Louie prayed again, and God answered. God is there. He is listening. He is willing to grant us the strength we do not have within ourselves. It is upon Him that we must lean, for our strength will wane; His never will.

Whatever your trial, no matter your struggle, God is there. Trust in Him, and come what may, you will forever be unbroken.

I Love Her All The More

Love has not changed, but I have.

In my last post, Love is Timeless, I discussed how love does not change. Love is timeless, eternal. Perfect from the onset. I, however, am not.

My wife and I have been married for 18 years. This week she celebrates a birthday. As every year passes, I realize all the more the depth and strength of the love which exists between us. If, as the Bible says, love is perfect and timeless, then the love between us has not changed. Something, however, has. It is better. It is stronger. It is more exciting, more fulfilling, more everything than ever before. If love has not changed, then love has changed me.

A window without time.

When I cast my eyes upon my wife, time disappears. Like wind and shadows, it drifts away, ethereal and unsubstantial. Time does not affect her because she is, to me, a manifestation of love. When I see my wife, I gaze as though through a window without time. Perpetually young, beautiful, desirable, she changes not. Her beauty is unchanged, her charms undimmed, her body that of our wedding night. She is timeless, ageless. She is the wife of my youth.

A thousand sunsets, and a thousand more.

Jill and I have gazed upon a thousand and more sunsets, and God willing we will see thousands more. And though the sun has risen and set perhaps billions of times, its grandeur has not dimmed. So it is with my wife. Each time I see her, she is as radiant as when I first laid eyes upon her. As the setting of the sun in no way lessens the beauty of its rising the next day, so is she. Though a year may pass, her beauty does not. A thousand times a thousands days may pass, but they will touch her not. If love never fails, then love never fades.

Love is a gift.

To see this way is a gift. These are not just words I am saying to gain favor with my spouse. This is my reality. I cannot explain it. It doesn't make sense. It just is. Just as I cannot explain how the love of God my Father makes Him see beyond my imperfections, so I cannot explain how love allows me to perceive my wife outside of time. I see the age in myself, and therefore logic tells me that she has changed as well. But I don't see it. The lens of love is a gift.

I will love her all the more tomorrow.

Yesterday I loved my wife more than the day before. Today my love is greater still. As love continues to change me, each day will I realize how awesome it truly is. I have no doubt that if tomorrow comes, I will love her all the more.

Happy Birthday Jill!

You are the love of my life. Some may mark this day as another year gone by, but I mark this as the day when I love you all the more.

Love Is Timeless

True love is not bound by time.

The ideas of eternity and infinity are difficult for me to understand. Comprehending that some realities exist outside the bounds of time stretches my imagination, challenges my intellect, and frankly gives me a headache. But we are told this is true of some things. One of those realities which escapes being defined by time is among the greatest gifts God has given us. The gift of love.

I Corinthians 13.

Starting at verse 8, we read Love never fails. Paul goes on to say that prophecies will cease, tongues will be stilled, and even knowledge will pass away. These things are not perfect, therefore they will not last. There will come a time, however, when we will see perfectly. Paul says, Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. That is to say, those imperfections mentioned above will pass away, and only what is perfect will last. What is perfect? And now these three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Symbols of love.

Through the ages, we have tried to symbolize the truth of the eternal nature of love with a variety of images. Among those are the wedding band. Being circular, the band has no endpoint. Following its course, one never comes to a place where the band is no more. It is seemingly endless, symbolic of the love between a man and a woman joined together before God in holy marriage.

This is not a perfect representation of love, of course. For as Paul said, now we see but a poor reflection, as in a mirror. It is, however, a symbol. An attempt to understand and represent that which is beyond us at this point. An attestation that sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

The reality of love.

What I have come to understand is that our experience of love is not an unending circle that never changes. Though love is infinite and exists beyond the realm of time, we who are bound by time see love change, grow, mature. Love itself may be perfect and infinite from the onset, but we are not. Our experience of love changes not because love itself is malleable and plastic, but we are. Put more simply, love may not change, but it certainly changes us.

So what's the point?

All of this is to say that I have come to the realization that time cannot tamper with love. Years may pass, we may age, but love does not. If love seems to have dimmed, it is because I have stepped away from its light. Just as if God seems distant it is not because He has moved, but rather I have drawn away from Him. Also, when love seems stronger it is not because love was once weak, but rather I have more fully embraced the strength which has always existed. The realities of God and love are constants; I am the only variable.

The point is love never fails. We may fail love, but love will never fail us. An anniversary, a birthday, a decade, the end of time--none of these affect love. Love perseveres. Love never fails.

To be continued . . .
 

Independence Day

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Great words.

One of the most famous quotes in American history is the second sentence in the Declaration of Independence. 
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the 
pursuit of Happiness.

When a truth is self-evident, it needs no defense. It stands by itself to be right and true. Everyone can see it. Among such truths that our founding fathers saw in Creation were that all men are created equal, and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, such as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. According to the Declaration of Independence, it is a self-evident truth that God, the Creator, exists.

Incredible freedom.

With their Declaration, the founding fathers declared themselves free from tyranny, knowing full well the dangers, responsibilities, and laborious journey which lay before them. But it was worth it to be independent. To be free was worth the risk, the effort, the pain. They were able to look beyond the temporary trials of the world before them and see something better in the future. Freedom.

As great as those words are, compiled and scribed by amazingly gifted men, they did not provide independence. That came at a much greater price: The blood of men and women from 1776 to today. Men and women who, just as our founding fathers, look beyond temporary sacrifice towards a greater good. Freedom.

True freedom.

The founders of our nation recognized the source of true freedom. They recognized the source of all things. They gave credit where credit was due. In their great declaration, they called upon God as witness and authority for their cause. They wanted to be free, and they called upon God to make them so.

I'll let that stand for itself.

God Bless America!